Shared Pleasures

The theme of shared pleasures refers to the happy moments in daily life. The illustrations express rewarding situations in which parents and children, playing their respective roles, become sources of enjoyment to each other. This theme easily allows parents to express themselves spontaneously and positively, without fear of judgment. This is a tool of choice for professionals who wish to focus on strengthening the parent–child bond. There are three series of illustrations that present pleasurable situations adapted to the child’s age (0 to 2 years; 2 to 5 years; 6 to 11 years).

 

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Using the tools

  • Depending on the context, the whole family could be invited to identify some happy times they shared, or also some pleasant experiences that one or the other would want to have more often.
  • In shared custody situations, it is often helpful for children to be able to talk about good times they had in the past, or that they sometimes experience with their mother, father, grandparents, etc., and what they especially appreciated about those experiences.
  • It can also be helpful to review how certain events (such as immigration, divorce, arrival of a second child, moving, illness) have changed the context of sharing pleasures with the child.
  • The theme of shared pleasures is particularly well adapted to group discussion. Parents are usually proud to tell others about pleasures they have shared with their children, and this gives rise to many stories.

From the professionals

«It’s literally a ‘shared pleasure’ to explore this theme with a group of parents. It is absolutely non-threatening! And listening to one person talk about a happy time gives the others lots of ideas.».

«I had spread out all the shared pleasures cards, and it was very moving to see the enthusiasm and pride with which the parents told stories about the things they did with their child».

 

Clinical relevance

  • The shared pleasures theme is the most “refreshing” tool in the kit, a happy blend of the two previous themes, children’s qualities and parenting skills. In fact, there is often only a very fine line between the two themes of parenting skills and shared pleasures, since the mutual enjoyment of happy times with their child is considered to be an important parenting skill. Professionals are therefore invited to combine the two tools on parenting skills and shared pleasures as needed.
  • As this theme refers to situations that were successful and allows parents to share many happy moments from their daily lives, the content of these discussions is particularly useful in helping the professional discover who these parents are and what their family situation is, from a much less negative standpoint than is usually the case in psychosocial follow-up situations.
  • The shared pleasures theme is one that can simply and concretely help to strengthen the reciprocal bond between parent and child.